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15 February 2015 @ 10:37 pm
Trying to make posting a thing again  
But I both have too many and too few things to say... Gosh it's already been over a month and a half since I made a real post.

As for updates I have started my job and it's pretty neat, people are nice and the job itself is interesting. I just need to get used to standing up so much during the day, I'm in the lab a lot, and I'm more used to sitting at a desk or during classes.

Other than that, in late January my grandmother died, she'd been sick for over four years and she recovered from stuff doctors were nearly sure she wouldn't, but she wasn't immortal after all. Not everyone here is familiar with my relationship with my grandmother (or lack thereof) but basically, as my father put it, she was mostly my dad's mother, not really my grandmother, so as expected I was mostly sad that my dad, uncles, aunts and some of my cousins were sad, and not actually grieving myself. I might sound like a big asshole but well yeah. Anyway, I was able to come back for the funeral which was a chance to see everyone and I think the atmosphere was lighter than appropriate sometimes (especially when, during the funeral, my cousin started the music they chose the day before, only to realize that it was the wrong CD in the box and that it was Christmas Carols, we all laughed out loud and the priest looked scandalized) but it was cool and we had great laughs, and there were also sad/serious moments. Also we think she summonned Poland or something, first the priest was Polish and had the thickest accent ever (he even said a prayer in Polish at the funeral home), most of us didn't catch half of what he said, and then, when we got out of the church there was like 10cm of snow and it was still snowing heavily. It was very appropriate. Well technically it was my grandfather (who died before I was born) who was Polish, she was from Yugoslavia (speaking of countries that actually still exist today she'd have been Slovenian) but she knew Polish and culturally she was pretty much Polish too in the end. Oh and one of my aunts asked me if I'd like to read some lines from a gospel during the funeral, I ended up answering something along the lines of "I'm an atheist, I'm pretty sure it doesn't count if I do it".

~~Intermission: My upstairs neighbours are shagging AGAIN I swear I hear them every night like wow calm the fuck down or at least don't scream so loud girl we don't need to know.~~

So besides that I also went out a lot, both with colleagues and other friends (Luo and Aku for example, as well as some I knew from school), and it seems there won't be a weekend in february when I'll be home: on the first weekend I went to give back the keys of my old apartment near Nantes and check it was in a good state and all before I officially leave, I was gone a whole day for a 1h appointment, thankfully I got to eat with Alice... This weekend I was in Lille fucking up a couple of friends' Valentine's Day seeing friends from school because one of them who's making a Ph.D in Germany was back for the weekend for a conference, we ate raclette and talked about subatomic particles, it was nice. Next weekend I may go to Shei's place with Luo, it's still not sure but well, and the next weekend I go back to my parents' place for my mom's birthday, and if it goes my way it'll be a surprise for her (with my father's help).

Right now I'm in a weird/shitty state mostly because I have a uterus... Like, I've been PMSing much more than ever before with ridiculous mood swings that made me go from being super-excited over nothing to feeling super super low with a hint of despair and like stfu brain. And now that it's started I'm still like that with some bonus, I'll spare the gore details but it's as funny as ever and it hurts, bleh.

On other news Shameless is still messing me up emotionally but that's not new, and I'm both happy to see that Cameron Monaghan guest stars in Gotham tomorrow in a storyline about the Joker (he may or may not be a young Joker, that would be so badass) and a bit afraid that if he is to become a regular in Gotham he'll be less in Shameless and like don't you dare especially seeing where Ian is now and how interesting this whole story arc is and how fucking great you are at portraying him ugh.

I've watched some movies, too, I'll do that quick: The Babadook is a very good horror/psychological movie that helped me get over that BIG PILE OF POOP that is the Woman in Black 2, Nightcrawler ROCKS and goddammit Jake Gyllenhaal, you are a freaking great actor, I saw the Imitation Game with colleagues at the cinema, it was pretty awesome (nothing groundbreaking as far as directing goes but great acting and well this story is just bound to work on me), Dr Horrible's Singalong Blog is gold, not that I ever doubted it, Compliance is SCARY LIKE HOW IS IT A TRUE STORY ARE YOU FOR REAL PEOPLE HOW WHY WHYYY, Dogtooth is as disturbing as you'd expect from a Greek art film that won the prize Un Autre Regard in Cannes, but I still dig the concept, Perfect Blue is very very good (no shit) and it leaves you feeling pretty weird, Ernest et Celestine is a cute as fuck French animated movie with great voice actors and a watercolor style, with an actually very good story and a nice message, and finally I saw the Hours. This movie really got me. A lot. The themes are dark and not easy but handled well and very cleverly, and there are queer characters which is cool. A quote from Virginia (Woolf, this movie is centered around the writer's life and her book Mrs. Dalloway, with three different time periods that are connected) really stuck with me, "it is possible to die". This sound stupid and obvious but that's something that I have a lot of feelings for, as it is something I think about from time to time. Like, I'm not suicidal and I suppose I have survival reflexes and stuff, but in theory I wouldn't mind dying (without pain pls) and it's something I feel overall serene about, it's possible to die and it's, as Virginia said, pretty consoling. I don't want to see people I like/love die because I'm selfish because they are good people who are going to do nice things with their lives, but in my case, meh.

Anyway, I still have so many movies to see and i'm probably gonna start a wishlist for DVDs I want to have at some point both to keep track of it and so that people who want to buy me stuff know what (mostly my parents but not only) because I want to actually own those movies I loved one day.
Azzie's corner of madness: OTPflowsoffire on February 19th, 2015 09:20 pm (UTC)
Yay, posting! Posting is nice :D (She says…) Good to see your face around! And great you found a place and the job is going well, though very blatantly sexually active neighbours are less pleasant, urgh =P It's great you had fun with friends and have been watching cool stuff, too :D

I get you about your grandmother… I've also lost relatives I had only a very distant relationship with, maybe for different reasons, but I get you when you say you were basically sad for your close ones' grief and that doesn't make you unfeeling, just honest.

Get the uteri away, man. We women get it hard. (Well, I say that and I've never had terribly difficult periods and these days I just keep merrily skipping them. Unless the immaculate conception is really a thing, I'm pretty secure that it's nothing but good news ;) But I've had the wild mood swings along with more signs and minor pains/discomfort with time, too. Funny how one would think periods would be messy during one's teens and neater afterwards and I went and did the opposite.)